Archives For Self

Self help books have become quite popular of late, as more and more people become interested in personal growth and development, which is turning out to be the only key to survival in this competition-ridden society.

1. Thought Vibration, Walter Atkinson – Attract Your Desires through the Vibration of Your Thoughts

Another one of the many self help books that focus on the law of attraction, the Thought Vibration explores the subject using a different and more radical perspective, making it quite a controversial self help book from an equally controversial author.

The main purpose of the book is to enlighten you on how to use your thoughts to attract what you want to get in life. It says that if you really set your mind on your desires, your thoughts will create such a powerful vibration that will simply magnet the subject of your desires straight to you.

Thought Vibration also teaches how to go through the process, which should begin with a clear and calm mind that is not limited by negative beliefs. The book is closely linked to the benefits of positive affirmations to train the mind and to remove limiting thoughts.


2. Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki – Welcome Money and Prosperity with the Abundance Mindset

Rich Dad, Poor Dad is one of the most talked about self help books around. The book became a hit especially since it dwells mostly on money issues, which all people, regardless of age or background, can relate to.

The self help book dwells on how to invite money and prosperity into your life by seeing money making opportunities clearly instead of focusing on the negative state of the economy. It’s all about developing an “abundance mindset” rather than get drowned by the “scarcity mindset” that is so prevalent today.

3. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey – Change Results by Changing Perception and Interpretation

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People turned out to be one of the most influential books in the popular self help reading list. Although it was published way back in 1990, ripples of its influence can still be felt today.

Like the other books in this self help reading list, the 7 Habits revolve around the importance of changing your perception and interpretation of the world in changing results. This phenomenon was dubbed by author Covey as the “paradigm shift.” Covey wrote that the right perception can do wodners for your productivity and time management skills, making you an able and effective person.

4. NLP (Collins Need to Know?), Carolyn Boyes – Change Results by Changing Action

Another intriguing self help book is the NLP by Carolyn Boyes. The book revolves around NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming. The book teaches another way of changing one’s mindset, and how this simple act can pave the way for goal achievement.

The unique thing about the concept of NLP is that it begins with a change in action, which brings a change in results, which therefore changes one’s thinking. This is a modified version of the law of attraction, which begins with a changed thinking leading to a changed action and then changed results.

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Self Esteem Starts at Home 

A recent study by the American Psychological Association found that children can experience as much stress as adults do, and they are often not equipped to deal with everyday stresses of social pressures, peer pressure, school and home life. We can easily help our children to deal with stress and connect with their inner knowing by teaching them simple meditation techniques like deep diaphragmic breathing sometimes called the Balloon Breath, and using guided meditation and imagery.

Creative guided imagery offers the child the opportunity to “blow away worries”, “use healing colors” or “travel by magic carpet to a very special place inside themselves.” Children are naturally creative and imaginative. Adults are too, but often times we have forgotten the fun of imaginings and have turned our imagination into a hard reality of our own making, aka life.

Make your life wonderful by practicing using your own imagination each and everyday. Apply the law of attraction and concentrate on what you truly want for 10-15 minutes twice a day. See how your life changes for the better and your dreams start to materialize. We can learn to alter any “reality” by using the incredible power of our imagination. Guided meditation is another way to engage our imagination and a fun, relaxing activity for parents and kids alike.

   Self-esteem is the perception of self. Its how you feel about yourself, what you believe to be true about you. Want to evaluate your own self esteem? A simple activity to gage your own self-esteem is to start taking stock in the internal dialogue that is happening within your own mind each and every day. What kinds of things do you say to yourself as you pass the mirror each day? What do you say to yourself as you look at your face or body, or as you do a difficult or challenging task (or even imagine doing one)? How does your internal dialogue respond? Are you pretty enough, smart enough, healthy enough, funny enough, rich enough, slim enough, outgoing enough?  in short, are you good enough? What does your internal dialogue say?

Simply put, it’s the internal dialogue that differentiates between various levels of self-esteem. And surprising or not, a lot of that internal dialogue is simply belief patterns that our own parents held and passed on to us. As a child, think back to what you heard about yourself. What were the messages? Children learn everything from the adults around them, including how to view life, their bodies and their selves. Parents are a tremendous influence on their children’s lives. Positive self esteem is a learned skill and parental positive self-esteem rubs off on children, and so does the contrary.

While you’ll want to seriously look at the messages you give to your child, you’ll first need to investigate your own self-esteem patterns and beliefs you hold onto. Ask yourself if those beliefs are still valid for you. Are they still serving you or not? If they are a detriment to your living a fully joyful life, then it may be time to let go and re-create a new vision for and of yourself.

Teaching positive self-esteem to our children starts out with us as parents fully loving ourselves. Like it or not, your children take cues from you and they definitely pay much more attention to what you do than what you say. They know how you feel about yourself. They begin to believe that this is the right way of thinking, even if you believe that you are saying all the right things to them, but thinking otherwise. So loving yourself becomes your number one priority in parenting. Loving yourself is not selfish love, it’s not seated in the ego. It’s all about realizing what a truly magnificent being YOU are, how lovely, smart, creative and beautiful you are, no matter what! It’s about seeing that you deserve to treat yourself with respect and that others respect you because they can see you deserve it too. When you feel good about yourself, the world feels it. You light up a room with your smile. You radiate, you shine. A beautiful woman takes care of herself in many ways, and she does not have to be most people’s definition of pretty. If she shines her light, there will always be that special “something” about her that makes her beautiful. That’s called self-esteem. When you begin to respect yourself and truly honestly fall in love with yourself, life changes. Good things come into your life. You prosper in all ways. Start out with daily affirmations even if you don’t believe it. Tell yourself you love yourself at least 4 times a day, and see what happens after 3 days. Whenever a negative thought arise in your mind, move it over and replace it with “I love you ______” . And see what happens in your mind, body and in your life.

It’s not enough to compliment your children so they will feel good about themselves. Self-esteem is built in the small moments when a child drops a glass of juice and you’ve had a really rough day. What is your reaction? Are you able to just tell him that it’s really no big deal or do you react in anger and frustration, implying they are not capable (which will lower their self-esteem)? Most children have never even heard the term self-esteem and yet they are affected by it each and every day at home and at school. They pick up cues as to whether their abilities and looks are acceptable to you and others by the subtle reactions they get. If a child has developed high self-esteem, hearing someone else call them a name will not affect them because they know the truth.They are able to see that the person is not being kind, but it will not make them feel any less valuable. We can prevent a lot of difficulties in our society if we simply heighten our own self-esteem and that of our children. Increasing self -esteem will have a tremendous impact on the care of each other in relationships, friendships and choice of friends, in family life, in the educational setting, in personal health and later on in our careers or business, financial matters, choice of partners, social networking/friends : in every aspect of life.


BY:  Mellisa Dormoy

Mellisa Dormoy is the founder of ShambalaKids Relaxation CD for Kids and Teens. She’s also the co-host of the weekly radio show – Unplugged Educators Radio. She specializes in children’s self-esteem and Unplugged Parenting.

Here more of Mellisa’s message at Unplugged Parenting.

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If I was to say that I wanted to buy one hour of your life, one hour that no matter what happened, or how successful you became in the real estate investment future, you could never get that one hour back, how much would you sell it to me for?
Most of us would come up with a very high number. Our time is valuable. The reality is that we really don’t push for that asking price. We allow ourselves to be undervalued, by getting stuck in the nitty gritty of daily real estate investment, such as painting that house instead of finding someone else to do it for us. We constantly do jobs that as business people, as executives we just shouldn’t allow ourselves to do.

Many new real estate investors let themselves be undervalued and over involved. Give yourself a chance to create really successful, long lasting business by planning a little, getting others to help you out and establishing your self-worth.

I’d like for you to ask yourself the following;

How much am I going to set my value for this week?

Answer this question. By establishing how much you are worth now, you’ll find it much easier to stick to that hourly wage in the long run. Making you more money in real estate investment and helping you manage your time better.

I want you to stick to your value no matter how difficult it seems. If cash is tight, then maybe your hourly wage will be or an hour. Any activities you have coming up that you could pay someone else less to do for you, such as /hr, you find someone to do that activity. You’ll be saving money even as you spend, because it frees you up to work on projects with higher profit margins.

Outsource your Drudgery to the Internet

The invention of the internet has allowed us to cut down on just about any daily task that we don’t want to do by finding a very eager person that would like to do them for us. is a personal favorite of mine for placing ads looking to outsource some work. Try this, I dare you. Take something that you need to do this week, something you hate doing, and put a free ad on Craigslist to hire someone to do it for you.

Your dishes may be stacked up and your closet can be a wreck, but you can put up an ad for someone to help you. You’ll be amazed by number of people that love doing dishes or organizing other people’s closets and are willing to do it for next to nothing. Think it’s cruel? It’s not right for others to do parts of your life that you dislike? Well deal with it. These sites exist because the people using them are looking for work that they enjoy and it’s great to hook those people up with it.

Besides, outsourcing your drudgery keeps upping the value of your time. By concentrating more on activities pertinent to real estate investment such as; talking to sellers, networking with others, and crafting new marketing strategies, you will create huge real estate returns.

Ego and Macro-Management

Ego is what keeps people stuck in the Self-Employed (S) Quadrant and unable to move over to the Business (B) Quadrant. I’m going to assume you have all read Rich Dad, Poor Dad, (if you haven’t, read it).

I think moving from the S-Quadrant over to the B-Quadrant is the most difficult switch of the three quadrant moves and ego is the reason.

People who are self-employed or have a ‘real estate investment business’ in which they do the majority of the work usually have major ego (I include myself because a good portion of my life was spent in this quadrant). We have dreams of having others help us and may have even tried it but when we’ve hired someone, we felt like they weren’t doing it the ‘right way’ or that some of the quality or talent was lost. This is because they probably do something really well. They are great in sales; they are the talented accountant, or maybe an expert dentist. Our belief is that no one can do it as well as we can. We don’t want to spend time writing out what and how we do our jobs because we just do them or we feel like it can’t really be ‘taught.’

It really comes down to thinking that no one can do ‘it’ better than us. This behavior forces us to do it all ourselves. Unfortunately, that ‘ego’ actually works against us by taking on things that we shouldn’t be touching and be focusing on more, higher value tasks.

Accepting the fact that no matter how much more education we get or experience gained, we still cannot create more hours in the day or get it all done alone, is the first step to real estate investment success. We have to realize that without us in charge of our businesses rather than working in our businesses, we have no business and we will never have a great business that runs practically by itself. The pain of this vivid realization can alone be enough for people to take action, it was for me.

Colin Egbert is an experienced Real Estate Investor with plenty of short sale techniques to aid fellow investors in their quest to succeed and make huge profits. He’s the author of the ebook “Getting Started with Short Sales” providing the tools needed to start your own real estate investing business. Colin is also the CEO of a website dedicated to helping investors make the most of their business.

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